


Naughty List (Smoker x Reader)

by Vizkopa



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alcohol, Christmas, F/M, Holidays, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 14:52:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13192422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vizkopa/pseuds/Vizkopa
Summary: “So, tell me, young lady. Have you been naughty or nice this year?”





	Naughty List (Smoker x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> This is dumb but I had to do it. Belated Christmas fic!

“Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us?” 

Smoker looked up from the pile of manila folders stacked high on the desk in front of him. “Nah, you go ahead. I need to get some work done.” He gestured to the pile with a grimace.

You pouted, stepping behind him to drape your arms around his neck. “Babe, it’s Christmas Eve! How can you possibly have work to do?” 

“Crime doesn’t take a holiday, [Name]. Have enough fun for the both of us, okay?”

You sighed but kissed him with as much fervour as ever when he turned his head to capture your lips with his. You broke apart when a car horn sounded outside, and you sighed again. 

“That’ll be my ride. Last chance to tag along. It won’t be the same without you.”

“Go. Have fun with your friends.” He kissed you again. “And when you get home, we can have a little fun of our own, alright?”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you said with a mischievous grin. You kissed him one last time—one filled with promise and desire that already had your heart quickening at the thought of what he had in store for you later—and you snatched up your purse and your keys from the table before heading out the door.

“Smoker’s not coming?” Nami asked as you slid into the back seat of the Uber ride.

“Not this time.”

“Shame. Would have been good to have a cop on our side tonight.”

“Just how drunk are you planning to get!?” you said in disbelief as the car pulled out of the driveway.

“ _We._ How drunk are _we_ planning to get. You’re not getting out of this one, [Name]. And we are going to take as much advantage of all that free alcohol as we can.”

“You’re the devil.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

You picked up Rebecca and Vivi on the way, and Robin called to say she would meet you at the bar where the Christmas party was being held. She waved to you as the car pulled up on the verge.

The air outside was chilly, your breaths steaming in front of your faces as you hurried inside into the warmth and noise of the party. Nami went straight to the bar as if she was on a mission, and returned with a round of shots.

“Tequila? Really?” You grimaced as she forced a shot glass into your hand. “Are you _trying_ to ruin my Christmas?”

Nami had already downed her first shot and was chasing it with a second. “What’s wrong, I though you loved tequila?”

“Yeah, in our college days, maybe. Have you forgotten we’re not twenty-one anymore?”

“We’re not. But this’ll make you feel like we are.” She winked at you and knocked back shot number three without so much as flinching.

“Well…” You looked down at the golden liquid and shrugged. “Cheers, I guess.”

The others all echoed your sentiment and knocked back their own shots. You followed suit. The night from that point on was, admittedly, a little blurry.

When you left the party later that evening, all stumbling and giggling like schoolgirls, you decided to take a shortcut through the mall. The night had turned cold, the clouds obscuring the moon above threatening to snow. After the warmth of the bar, the frigid air was biting.

Though it would still be considered early on any other night, most of the stores were closing up already. But there were still quite a few people milling around looking for last minute Christmas gifts, ushering their children away from window toy displays, fighting over the last discount toaster.

Up ahead, you could see some sort of queue, children waiting excitedly alongside their impatient parents for something you couldn’t see. You caught a glimpse of a red suit and caught the sound of a jovial laugh.

“Santa’s here!” You were aware you sounded childish. Maybe those tequila shots had knocked off a few more years than anticipated.

“Dare you to sit on his lap.” Nami grinned evilly.

_What!?_

“No way. Nuh-uh. Not happening.”

“Oh, come on [Name], we all know you have a thing for those white-haired babes. Santa is like, the ultimate Silver Fox.”

Vivi and Rebecca snickered. Robin smiled.

“Oh my god, Nami.” If your cheeks weren’t already red from the alcohol, they most certainly would be now.

“You’re not denying it.”

You fumed at her silently. 

Nami shrugged. “If you don’t want to do it, you can just pay the tab next time we go out.”

“Like hell I will! I’ve seen how much you drink.” You sighed. “Stand back.”

You brushed past her, ignoring the chorus of wolf-whistles and giggling that followed you all the way to the back of the rapidly shortening queue. You were the only adult without a child with you and several parents gave you looks of bewilderment. A few looked at you in disgust. You ignored them and went on waiting.

As the last child was ushered away by their mother, you approached Santa with a sheepish smile. 

“Got time for one more, Mr. Claus?”

He seemed taken aback by your request, his eyes flashing with something you didn’t recognise behind his half-moon spectacles, but he smiled and nodded anyway. 

“Always for a pretty lady.” He patted his knee. “Take a seat.”

Something in his voice seemed vaguely familiar, but with the heavy fog of alcohol shrouding your brain, you couldn’t quite grasp the reason why. You searched his face, but before you could make the connection, he was pulling you down onto his knee.

You spotted Nami some distance away snapping pictures with her phone and chuckling wildly.

“So, tell me, young lady. Have you been naughty or nice this year?”

You perched yourself on the very edge of his knee, suddenly nervous. What had you gotten yourself into?

“I’m always nice, Santa.”

“Oh? That’s not what I heard,” he chuckled. “Why, [Name], you’re at the very top of my naughty list.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh, yes. I have it on good authority you’ve been a very bad girl this year.”

“On whose authority?”

“One Detective Smoker. I believe you know him.”

Suddenly, it clicked. The voice. The eyes. You leaned back into him, pretending to play along.

“And what are you going to do about it, Mr. Claus? Am I going to be punished for my wicked ways?” Your voice was sickly sweet and you felt him stiffen behind you. Had you been caught out?

“I’m sure an appropriate punishment can be arranged…”

His hand curled around your hip, pulling you closer.

Your breath caught in your throat. You could feel the heat of his fingers even through the thick gloves he wore and your winter coat. “Careful, Santa, my boyfriend might get jealous.”

“Will I, now?” 

Smoker’s words ruffled the hair behind your ear. You grinned. “What the hell are you doing here, you dork?” you laughed as he removed the fake beard and hat to reveal your boyfriend underneath.

“Just making a little extra cash,” he replied gruffly.

“Whatever for?”

“…Let’s just say you’re getting far more than just a lump of coal in your stocking this year.” It was all you get out of him. “Come on, let’s get you home. It’s late and you’re drunk.”

“I am not!”

He stood up, forcing you to your feet and, as if to prove his point, you immediately stumbled. He was forced to catch you, holding you tight against his chest. He looked at you pointedly.

“Home. Now.”

You hummed, pressing close to him. “If I agree, will you keep your promise?”

He gave you a wolfish grin. “You have been _very_ naughty this year…”

“Yes, punish me, Santa Daddy,” you moaned, perhaps a little louder than intended.

Smoker pulled up his fake beard to hide his face, but not before you caught the tinge of red spreading across his cheeks.

“What am I going to do with you?”


End file.
